~grrrlpirate

I have decided to color the sketch of my dad and my sister with watercolor after all- and I like how it is coming but it is SO NERVE WRACKING!!! A million cigarettes later we'll see how it turns out.

I wish I weren't so poor. I would love to be able to afford having it framed nicely and airmail. I was at Anna Bannanas yesterday and they have a drive going on where you take a card with gifts needed for the homeless and then put them in the box- and I thought today that they should have something like that for artists. The P:ear Gallery in PDX upsets me to no end. They're an organization that takes in homeless youth during the day- gives them any art supplies they need and the space- and then puts up exhibitions of their work. The guideline is that you have to be able to prove that you are under 23 and without a home- neither of which I can do. I am that grey fuzzy space between shit poor and other. I believe 'low-income' is the term...and I *am* 23. BAH HUMBUG!

I am not at all fair to myself. I wonder if all people who consider themselves at all artistic are like this too? If I don't get things right I take it to heart- like suddenly I have no artistic accountability and everything's a sham. It's so disheartening. I have to factor in not practicing, etc. I can't expect things to come out right every time and when they don't I shouldn't think that I have lost touch completely and that any skill I might have had is now lost. All artists should be in therapy.